The Girlfriend Project
by Bexara
Summary: Tsuna gives Dino an impulsive suggestion on how Dino should deal with his fangirls. However, he doesn't know Dino has decided to make him the star player in this little scheme. Set during the current manga arc. Yaoi D27, possible lemon later.


**Author's Notes: **This is for a kind soul who requested an actual D27 story. I'm sorry, I can't guarantee how it will turn out as I have never written the pairing before. Not much else to say now. Mild spoiler for the current arc in the manga. Thanks for reading.

Edit: Ugh, uploaded 1st draft version instead OC corrected one. Probably not a good idea to post a story when you running on about an hour of sleep. Very sorry.

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Tsuna was on a mission, and while he would rather eat nails than go through with it, if he didn't carry it out he might actually find himself with a mouthful of nails before the day was over. Courtesy of Reborn, of course. He should have known better to hide his test (the one he had brilliantly bombed) in his desk. No, that hadn't been the only error in judgment he had made. His biggest mistake had been in thinking he could lie about it. To Reborn of all people. Tsuna could only think some sort of temporary insanity had possessed him. Or, it was the tuna fish sandwich he had eaten at lunch. It didn't matter. He had barely made it to the steps leading down from the school building when Reborn had performed one of his sudden materializing acts and demanded to see the test Tsuna had taken earlier. Even in the midst of this bizarre Representative Battle they were all caught up in, Reborn never allowed Tsuna a moment's respite when it came to his studies.

As a result, Tsuna was now racing through the mostly empty hallway. Anyone who only knew him by his moniker of "Useless-Tsuna" would surely be amazed by the speed at which his normally uncoordinated legs were moving. If they had seen the expression on his face, however, they might not have been so surprised. He had the hunted, terrified look of someone who had the hounds of hell themselves nipping at his heels. Short on breath, he finally reached his classroom. Sucking air noisily through his mouth, he slid the door open. He stepped inside only to draw up sharply. Two figures were locked in what seemed like a passionate embrace across the wide expanse of the teacher's desk. The girl, a big breasted beauty with long dark hair lay plastered against the male, her arms wound tightly around his neck. The position caused her skirt to ride high on her thigh, revealing the edge of something very pink and _very_ lacy.

Face flaming, he turned to leave with a mumbled, "Pardon me."

Just as he was about to hightail it out the door, his mind finally registered what his eyes had seen and he whirled back around.

"D-Dino-san!" he cried out, shocked and unwilling to believe the truth before him. Yet, there was no mistaking that shining, blonde head.

"Tsuna, help me!" Dino shouted back, a note of panic in his voice. His hand, the one he had bandaged to hide his tattoo, waved frantically in the air. A man drowning and desperately searching for something to grasp onto had much in common with his distraught exertions.

The girl's head had snapped around at Tsuna's startled exclamation, and now she glared furiously at him. Tsuna swore he could feel actual pinpricks of enmity from the force of her stare. She slid off Dino and casually straightened her skirt.

"I'll come back later, sensei," she promised in a low, throaty voice, "and we can continue where we left off."

"Please don't!" Dino implored. She ignored his outburst and sidled out the door, curling her lip up at Tsuna as she passed by.

Once he was sure the girl was gone, Tsuna walked up to Dino and put his hands on his hips. He deliberately pushed aside the strange stab of displeasure that had sliced through him when he had recognized Dino.

"Geez, what the heck were you doing, Dino-san?" he asked, righteous indignation coursing through his body. "I don't know how they do things in Italy, but you just can't do stuff like that here."

"_I _didn't do anything," Dino protested loudly. "She said she had a question about some homework I assigned, and the next thing I knew she had pounced on me!"

Tsuna eyed him skeptically, but then just shook his head and sighed.

"Look at you, you're a mess. It totally looks like you were up to no good."

And, it did. Dino's glasses lay askew and perched precariously on on his nose. His blonde hair was mussed, flying in all directions as if hands had run repeatedly through it. His jacket was pushed halfway off his shoulder, and the his shirt was mostly unbuttoned. Even his tie was crooked and loose. He had a completely disheveled appearance.

Reaching out, Tsuna straightened his glasses, and then tweaked his nose for good measure. Dino rubbed his abused flesh and pouted.

"I'm the victim here, Tsuna. Man, I'm glad you burst in when you did. I thought my virtue was in danger!" Dino opened his dark, brown eyes wide and affected a frightened expression.

"Hmm," Tsuna pretended to look Dino over, "did you even have something like that to begin with?"

Dino's mouth fell open in shock. Tsuna tried to maintain a straight face, but Dino's response was just too funny. A small giggle escaped his lips, followed by another, and then he was doubled over in laughter.

"Why you little...," Dino threw out his arm and yanked Tsuna against him. Before Tsuna could react, the older man's knuckles were grinding evilly across the top of his head. "Wah, where did I go wrong," Dino was crying dramatically, "my cute little brother has reached a rebellious stage."

"Ow, that's painful, Dino-san," Tsuna struggled but couldn't break the bigger man's hold. "Alright, alright! I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"

"Hmpf," Dino grunted, easing the sadistic motions of his hand, but not letting Tsuna go completely. "I really am thankful that you showed up," he finally said, repeating his words. "I didn't think Japanese girls were so...so..._forceful_. In the halls. In the classroom. When I go to my car. Even when I go to the bathroom! They are everywhere!"

As someone who had never once been popular with girls, Tsuna had a hard time feeling much sympathy for his friend. In truth, he kind of wanted to punch the older man in the face right then. Still, Dino's fangirls could end up being a problem if they were around when a battle commenced.

Tilting his head back, he gazed at Dino and said thoughtfully, "Why don't you pretend to have a girlfriend or wife or something? Tell them that you are lovey-dovey with your super cute girlfriend and you just can't go out with anyone else. That might make them back down a little."

"I don't really think that will…," Dino glanced down at Tsuna and paused. Suddenly, a beatific smile that was one part mischief and two parts wickedness curved his lips. "Yes, actually, that might be a good plan after all. I'm glad you thought of it. You're pretty smart after all, huh, Tsuna?"

Flushing at the praise, Tsuna ducked his head bashfully. No one but Gokudera ever called him smart, and well, that was Gokudera. Instead, his intelligence was usually insulted on a daily basis. Reborn being the primary abuser. Wait, he was forgetting something. Something to do with Reborn.

"Oh crap!" he yelled, hands diving into his hair in dismay. "I forgot Reborn is waiting for me. He's going _kill_ me!"

Because Dino still had one arm around his shoulder, Tsuna's frantic motions sent his elbow on a collision course with the Italian's cheekbone.

"Ouch!" Dino reared back, losing his balance and pitching backward. He actually flipped over the desk, his long legs flying out in front of him. Where they smacked Tsuna in the side, knocking the teen over and sending him on a belly slide across the classroom floor. Using the desk to pull himself up, Dino winced and massaged the back of his head.

"You still alive, Tsuna?" he asked, peering anxiously out into the classroom.

Tsuna's brown head popped up two chairs and he nodded slowly, "Yeah, I think so." An instant later, he was rushing to his feet and streaking over to his own desk. "I might not be for long, though, if I don't get this back to Reborn. Eeek! I'm gonna' _diiiie_!"

Bolting out of the room, he called over his shoulder, "I'll see you later, Dino-san. Try not to get molested, and don't take rides from strangers!"

"Cheeky!" Dino yelled back, but Tsuna didn't respond, too busy praying he was not headed to his imminent doom. His pleas to the higher powers were in vain, unfortunately for him. Before the long, torturous night was over, he swore never to hide his tests from Reborn again.

TBC


End file.
